In the News

Devastated families spread message
London Free Press
By Randy Richmond
November 3, 2009

Victims of drunk drivers shared their stories during the launch of the MADD Red Ribbon campaign at South Secondary School.

Little brother Alex Fleming had two boys to protect him.

If he cried, big brothers Max and Ethan rushed to pat him on the head. It's OK, baby Alex, don't cry, they'd say. He wasn't Alex, or Alexander, they insisted. Baby Alex was his name.

His small casket, "they call it a treasure chest," mom Mary Rodrigues of Woodstock said. "Every time they go to visit Alex in the cemetery it is to make sure their treasure chest is still there and still safe."

Big brother Tony Degraw had two younger sisters to protect.

"He was there for us all the time," sister Laura Degraw of Glencoe remembered.

One night he walked home from a party. The family got a phone call and Laura, now 18, and sister Lindsey, now 20, rushed to his side.

"Seeing your brother lying face forward in the ditch, just mangled," Laura said. "That will stay in my mind forever."

Alex, not quite five months old, and Tony, 20, were both killed by suspected drunk drivers.

The devastated members of each family helped launched the local Red Ribbon campaign yesterday, telling several hundred students at South collegiate institute how drinking and driving tore apart their lives.

Even as they spoke, police forces across the region yesterday reported more than a dozen people had been arrested on the weekend for impaired driving.

Mothers Against Drunk Driving's annual red ribbon campaign, running from Nov. 1 to Jan. 1, tries to raise awareness about drinking and driving during the holiday season. According to MADD, on average four Canadians are killed and 207 more are injured every day in crashes involving drugs and/or alcohol.

Drivers 20-29 are responsible for a lion's share of those, London Police Chief Murray Faulkner told students. Eight males, five in their 20s, were arrested in London on the weekend for impaired driving, police said.

"You are the next line of defence to combat this problem as new drivers," Faulkner said. "Young people need to do everything to turn these statistics around."

Alex Fleming became one of those statistics on Thanksgiving Day 2008. His mom, Mary Rodrigues, dad Mike, and brothers Max, then three, and Ethan, then two, went out for dinner.

Rodrigues remembers rocking Alex to sleep and putting him safely in his car seat. A few blocks away from their home, they drove through a green light. Another driver, now charged with impaired driving causing death, crashed into them.

Rodrigues can barely speak about seeing her boy.

"His small little body was hooked up to so many machines I couldn't hold him. When I held his hand it was so cold. "

The crash severed the infant's brain stem. He was baptized, then moments later given last rites.

"Before you choose to drink and drive," Rodrigues told students, "remember Max and Ethan and how they used to protect their little brother."

Lindsey and Laura Degraw had a similar message for students.

"We know you party. Make sure you have a safe ride home," Laura said.

They and their brother did the right thing after a New Year's Eve party. Early that morning, Jan. 1, 2007, Tony was walking into nearby Glencoe to get some food.

His sisters got a ride home from their father. On the drive, their father got a call his son was fatally injured. The female driver was convicted of impaired driving causing death, but is out on bail during an appeal.

"One person made a selfish decision and we have to live with that forever," Laura said, crying. "I don't want anyone to go through what I went through."

Also see...

The MADD Canada Project Red Ribbon campaign